The original name I came up with for my blog was “Motherhood Madness,” but I felt like that was too limiting. I wanted to discuss my foray into domesticity, which moves beyond diapers and tonka trucks. Well, sometimes.
But lately, Motherhood Madness seems to fit my life much better. I am smack-dab in the middle of toddler mania, and every day, no, every hour is proving to be a new adventure. Not all bad, mind you, although as I mentioned in my last post, the climbing and discipline issues are mounting. So I kinda thought a breakdown of what my past couple of days have looked like would help not only show how exactly bi-polar my child has become and how totally looney tunes I’m becoming.
Tuesday was especially manic. We started the day fine, calmly enjoying some juice and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Breakfast was fine. Sometime after breakfast, Declan had Meltdown No. 1. Not real sure what happened. I think it had to do with me holding him but ONLY if I was standing. No sitting. Which is fun when you are holding a 30lb child. So he cries and screams and throws himself to the ground on his bottom, much like this child here. Eventually, Declan survives this trauma and moves on.
Next we move into our multiple personality phase. Declan would look right at me, smiling and cherubic, and then hit me in the face or on the leg. And then smile bigger. And then five minutes later, offer me kisses and hugs for no reason. I feel like I’m trapped in a cycle of abuse. I never know what to expect, so it’s best if I just behave and always smile so he doesn’t snap.
After a nap and lunch, just plain ole crazy takes over. First it’s running around the house, which is always fun. Then it’s opening the lazy susan and taking out all the tupperware. Normal, no biggie. Then it’s straight to the china cabinet, which is reserved for him on the bottom with his plastic plates, bowls and Cuisinearts, which are his fave things (blades removed, of course). Then it’s on to the buffet in the dining room and removing all the place mats. Then it’s straight to the now-dismantled excersauser. He likes to “sit” in it even though it’s resting on the floor. This whole process has lasted approximately 5 minutes, by the way. And in the meantime, the cat has moved into the lazy susan and then into the buffet table cabinet. I can only assume she was looking for shelter or a weapon, not sure.
Another meltdown ensues at some point over something serious like his sippy cup being in the wrong place, and when these meltdowns happen, he gets SO MAD and just flings everything near him around. He waves his little arms around, trying to clothesline his Little People Parking Garage and grunting with fury. I laugh to myself and just ignore him until the storm passes.
Then more climbing happens, but this time he’s putting himself and the boy I keep at risk by climbing in the sink of his Fisher Price Kitchen.So after telling him “NO” and moving him off of it twice, Declan experienced his first time out. It went as you would expect: I put him in the pack and play and he laughed his crazy butt off for the 3 minutes he was in there. He finally behaves long enough to eat dinner, get a bath and go to bed. Two hours later, I found all of his plates and bowls under the china cabinet. Cheeky booger.
Today was more of the same. More flinging himself and his toys around when angry. More climbing on things and laughing maniacally as I get him down. More random hitting/kissing episodes. He played with my hair at one point when I was sitting in the floor and I thought he might use the opportunity to strangle me. We had more time outs today that took place in a corner with me standing in front of him with my back turned. This at least elicited a response other than laughter, but don’t know how effective it was. By the time Paul got home, he was all smiles, carrying his blanky around the house and lying down on it to go “night-night.” Very cute. This was the same kid that hit me with a firetruck just hours before for no reason. And with a smile.
So the roller coaster ride of toddlerhood continues. I started the evening ready to write a blog all about my crazy day and my crazy son, but by the time I sat down to write this, all I remember is the hugs, the hair playing, the playing Peek-a-Boo under the blanket, watching him love on Tyson, our little buddy during the day. So you take the good with the bad, try to protect the cat and never trust a smiling toddler. Never.