Alright, if I’m going to do this, let’s get started.
The topic that has been on my mind so much lately has to come out. I’m going to explode if I don’t.
Can we talk about how ghetto Dora is?
Seriously, that is the most low-rent show on TV. The writers, illustrators, voice actors and anyone else involved are all guilty of phoning it in every.single.time.
First of all, let’s talk about her image. Her look. I know I have two boys, so I am no expert on little girls’ fashion. But there is not a mom I know that would dress their little angel in this mix of crap.
Look at her. First off, her clothes don’t even fit. Listen, I’m lucky to get Declan in more than 2 articles of clothing at a time. But at least his rain boots and polo shirt fit when he wears them.
Second, look at this color combo. Pink, orange and yellow? No. She’s not a Push Pop, she’s a child.
Then there’s that damn backpack. Wow, what a great gimmick. A talking backpack that eats whatever random crap you don’t use. Creative. Oh, and then there’s Map, who apparently can’t talk to Dora but can talk to you, the viewer. Again, clever.
A monkey whose only purpose is to wear red boots. A trio of bugs that play instruments. A troll? Why?
And what about those stars? They are just randomly thrown in to move the plot along, but that’s a pretty weak tool.
Oh god, and Swiper. Don’t get me started on that fool. First off, he is the lamest villain ever. All you have to do is tell him not to swipe, and he doesn’t. Wow, scary. And that mask isn’t fooling anybody, even dumb Boots. The thing that really bugs me is that sometimes, Dora saves him and they are friends, but then in the next episode, he’s trying to steal her shit. Not cool. He needs to get some morals and she needs to quit trying to be his friend.
I avoided Dora like the plague that she is for as long as possible, but Declan fell in love with her while I was in the hospital giving birth to his brother (thanks to my mom. I’m still bitter). I tried to make him forget about her once I was home, but sleep deprivation and raging hormones got the best of me, and now I know all the damn characters and Declan can count to 10 in Spanish (the ONLY redeeming factor to the whole debacle). I’ve tried to push Diego more, he is WAY cooler. But that little Spanish harlot stole my boy’s heart, and I’ll never forgive her. Never.