Dirty words

The day has come where our lack of morality is showing itself through our child. Declan has discovered cussing. So far, he’s steering clear of the Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television (NSFW or Kids), but he has dropped the “dammit” bomb a few times, with the first time being at Target in front of some poor old woman. We are handling it the way parents have for generations: trying not to laugh and telling him that’s not an ok word to say.

But I’m realizing there’s more to “bad words” than just cussing. For example, recently he showcased his listening skills by sighing and going “I swear to God!” every time I asked him to do something. I realized he was totally picking that up from me, therefore proving that despite his actions, his hearing IS, in fact, fine, but that I needed to watch my mouth. I told him that the phrase wasn’t nice and that he shouldn’t say it and Mommy and Daddy shouldn’t either, so we can all help each other say better things. I’ve switched him to saying “I swear to goodness!” most of the time, although yesterday he pulled out a “I swear to dammit!” and I realized that 3 year olds aren’t very bad-ass.

I’m now petrified that when he starts school in a couple of weeks, he’s going to rattle off all kinds of goodies that he’s been storing up and we are going to be THAT family that no one’s kids are allowed to hang out with, like The Addams Family or the Bundys.

But then I started thinking about what all qualifies as a bad word. Like, is “oh crap” acceptable for a 3 year old? What about “shoot!”? Or the fact that Declan’s favorite word right now is “Weinerbutt,” is that wrong? If it is, we are screwed. We call each other “weinerbutt” and “boogerbutt” and “boogerhead” all day long. How’s that going to go over at the Play-Doh station? Probably not great.

Overall, Declan has pretty good manners, despite his foul-mouthed parents. He says “please” and “thank you” without being asked, says “excuse me!” when running you over and he always apologizes after having a tantrum in public. But I’m thinking we need to curb the “what rhymes with fork? I know! Dork!” conversations, along with announcements regarding bathroom habits and gas expulsion. Or invest in Orbit chewing gum to clean up our dirty mouths. 


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6 responses to “Dirty words

  1. Funny! I think about this too…my 3 year old say “OH MY GOD” all the time. I keep correcting him to say “gosh” but…we’re still working on it. He has also said ‘oh dammit’, once, ‘sh*t’, once and he may or may not have uttered the F bomb a time or 2. You’d think we cuss like sailors at our house but we don’t. Honestly! As for using ‘bathroom’ words, I’m so guilty. Stinky butt face and Poopy head are commonly heard in our household. You are not alone. 😉

  2. Reading these make me feel so much better. I have to admit to egging Evan on a little bit. If he says “butt” or something like that I tell him to save that for weekends where grandma takes him to church. Evan has said “shit” a few times but I don’t think he realized what he was saying because there was no context. I constantly fight my anti-censorship streak with trying to make him realize that there are things we don’t say in public, around other kids and parents who will judge me. Personally, I don’t care what he says as long as it is in the right context.

  3. NSC

    AHHAHAHAHA!!! My husband calls me a lintlicker all the time…my unborn child is probably going to have the filthiest mouth. I swear, the more he and I try not to use cuss words, the worse it gets for both of us!!!
    Props for getting him to mostly g-rated phrases! Oh, and tip…my coworker always used to say, “cheese n rice” instead of J**** Ch****. In case that helps.

  4. Christi Wampler

    I’m so glad I’m not alone!!
    Getting the cussing under control isn’t too hard, but it’s those other expressions that are tough! And saying things like “OMG, Michelle Bachmann is so STUPID” or “I HATE Rick Perry” are going to come back to haunt me.

  5. rachel

    I found you from you link at modg and now I’m going back and reading your older post and just had to comment on this one. I have a 3 and a 1 yr old. Before kids we swore a lot and have definitrly been trying to curb it but my mil still swears like a sailor in front of my kids and put a couple drinks in my husband and his friends and they will too. Just this week cameron (3) said dammit connor! (his brother) and then as I was getting them into the car at the store I’m certain he dropped the big F bomb! With the first I told him not to say that to his brother because it’s not nice and ignored the second even as I wanted to bust up laughing. He doesn’t know what it means and I didn’t want him to say it again. His current favorite phrase is I’m pissed. Yesterday he told me he was pissed at our dog and I said you’re mad? He replied “no I’m PISSED!” I can only imagine what will happen we he starts school. Ugh. Boys! 🙂

  6. Christi Wampler

    That is awesome!!! I totally love it when kids cuss, it cracks me up!

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