To tell the truth

So today Declan got his “welcome” letter from his new pre-school teachers today (YIKES!), and included in it was an “About Me” form.

The topics were basic: Favorite Color, Favorite Food, etc. But when I sat down to fill it out, I kinda panicked. I was torn between telling the truth vs. what makes us look like, well, good people.

I determined that every topic had several answers: The truth, what I wish was the truth, what Declan would say is the truth, and what I wrote.

So in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I’d fill the form out in full here, so that way I’m not totally lying to anyone.

  1. Name: OK, an easy one.
    What I wrote: Declan Wampler
    The truth: Jeffrey Wampler. I’m one of those awful moms that calls her kid by his middle name. When pre-school begins, so begins Declan’s journey into school form/roll call hell. Sorry, kid. It just sounded better that way.
  2. Birthday: No questions here. 4/3. We got one right.
  3. Favorite Book: Hmm. Well, Declan really likes books, so that’s good. At least I don’t have to totally lie and make up something because he never gets read to.
    What sounds best: “The Little Prince”
    What Declan said: “NO! I don’t LIKE books!” He wasn’t in the mood for this homework.
    What I wrote: “The Big Book of Dinosaurs.” He does love that book. Some times.
  4. Favorite Color:
    The Truth: He doesn’t care.
    What he said: “I like purple crayons.(He was holding a purple crayon) I don’t want to do this any more.”
    What I wrote: Green, blue and purple. Even though I”m a liberal, cool mom, I felt kinda weird saying my son’s favorite color was purple. I dunno why. Sue me.
  5. Favorite Food:
    This one got me. How I answer this speaks volumes about me as a mom.
    What I wanted to say: “Organic carrots, free-range chicken and tofu patties.”
    What Declan said: “Mirrors.” No clue.
    The Truth: If he truly planned his meals, he would eat eggs and cinnamon toast every morning (Ok, he does, that’s not so bad), macaroni and cheese for lunch/and or dinner, Oreos for snacks and pizza. Occasionally, he would likely request chips or cereal. Oh, and cheese sticks.
    What I Wrote: Macaroni and cheese, pizza, hamburgers.
  6. Hobbies:
    Wait, what? Three year olds have hobbies? Shit. We don’t have any.
    What I wanted to write: Soccer, Art Class, Piano Lessons
    What Declan said he likes to do: “Nothing.” He really wasn’t cooperating.
    What he would do all day if it was up to him: Watch NickJr. Run around. Scream really loud. Watch more TV. Jump on something/someone.
    What he does all day: See above. Oh, and we go to the store a lot.
    What I wrote: Painting, playing dinosaurs, games. (Does “Jump on Mommy’s neck when she’s not looking” count as a game? Yes? Good.)
  7. My favorite thing to do at preschool is:
    That remains to be seen. I am hoping his answer is “LEARNING!” but I’m sure it’s going to have to do with water fountains or standing on tables.

So, yea. I knew if I painted the picture I wanted to see, after about 15 minutes of his first day, my cover would be blown. So I had to find the gray area between what makes me look like a stellar parent and, well, the truth. Hopefully, Declan’s charm will make up for my shortcomings, and that will earn me some extra credit.


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2 responses to “To tell the truth

  1. April Sikes

    Haha! So funny! I just filled out two of those for Thomas and Asher, today. And, if it makes you feel better, I’m one of those parents that calls their kid by their middle name, too…Franklin Daniel Sikes just sounded better!

  2. So true! This is where being an over-achiever as a child really backfires on you as a parent. Just think… the fun never ends. It changes shape and size, but it is still there. Now in fourth grade T’s favorite food is tilapia. I think it sounds like we’re trying to be hoity-toity, rather than the fact my son would eat wood chips if you put enough A-1 sauce on them.

    The good news is every family is wondering the same thing this time of year. I used to worry more that we’d be outed for the freaks we truly are. And now that I’ve been around the parenting block long enough to take in the scenery, I can appreciate we rank really low on the crazy scale. Just knowing you’re crazy means you aren’t really. The ones that don’t know they’re drinking the koolaid are the ones I worry about!

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