I forgot to laugh

You know what’s funny? Keyboard cat. This big metal chicken. Everything they make.

You know what’s not funny? 3-year-olds.

I mean, they can be. Declan can be hilarious, but that’s usually unintentional. Like when he uses words inappropriately or rolls around on the floor crying because I won’t give him something. Or does Jumping Jacks. Now, that’s funny.

But as a general rule, a preschooler’s sense of humor is pretty lame. Poor timing, weak punchlines and just overall immaturity really hinder the laughs. For example, lately, Declan is trying to thwart my commands by doing silly things instead. Like, when we are trying to get out the door. Simon goes down for a nap about every 2 hours, so we have to move at warp speed to get anything done that involves leaving the house. When Simon wakes up, I have to get him changed/dressed, fed, redressed because he’s filthy, make Declan pee, find the one random toy he wants to take with him, locate my keys/purse/sanity and remember if I’m out of sweatpants (I’m not) before we walk out the door. So I count on Declan to get himself dressed. I start early with him, giving him plenty of time to get his clothes on. But then he decides to be “funny,” and I fly into a rage.

The other day, it was a school day, and I was prodding him to get dressed while changing and nursing Simon. First, Declan comes in wearing just underwear. Ha. Then, he comes back with his socks on his hands. Cute. Next comes his shoes on his hands and him bending over and “tap dancing just like Twist!” (he needs new role models). Now I’m starting to get mad. Declan disappears for a few minutes and comes back in with his pants on his head, his legs through his arm holes and his socks and shoes still on his hands.

He, of course, thought that this was slap-your-knee, wet-your-pants funny. And you know what? In a different context, maybe it would be to me, too. But when it’s 3 minutes til time to leave, and you’ve been saying the same.exact.thing over and over (“Declan, get your clothes on. Declan, get your CLOTHES ON. DECLAN GET YOUR CLOTHES ON!!!!!!!!), it’s maddening.

Declan is almost this funny. Almost.


I know 3 year olds aren’t known for their listening skills, but it is truly rage-inducing to tell someone to do or not do something 75 times a day, only to have them disobey and then yell “JUST KIDDING!” and bust out laughing after you’ve just scolded them for their behavior. It’s one thing if he’s just flat out disobeying. I can handle that. It’s this attempt to distract me from the offense that makes me insane. As if his antics are going to make me go: “I know I asked you not to throw that bowl of crackers in the air, but you know what? When you did it and then rolled around in it and called yourself a bulldozer? That really is FUNNY!”

Cousin Balki's jokes > Declan's jokes




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2 responses to “I forgot to laugh

  1. Joseph likes to play chase vs. get ready. sigh. chasing him to the furthest corner of the house is NOT funny, but he’s laughing like a loon.

  2. Oh, I am worn out just reading that…seriously! I always hated that “just kidding!!” thing, because then they think it’s so hilarious they use it over and over…

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