To tell the truth

So today Declan got his “welcome” letter from his new pre-school teachers today (YIKES!), and included in it was an “About Me” form.

The topics were basic: Favorite Color, Favorite Food, etc. But when I sat down to fill it out, I kinda panicked. I was torn between telling the truth vs. what makes us look like, well, good people.

I determined that every topic had several answers: The truth, what I wish was the truth, what Declan would say is the truth, and what I wrote.

So in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I’d fill the form out in full here, so that way I’m not totally lying to anyone.

1. Name: OK, an easy one.
   What I wrote: Declan Wampler
   The truth: Jeffrey Wampler. I’m one of those awful moms that calls her kid by his middle name. When pre-school begins, so begins Declan’s journey into school form/roll call hell. Sorry, kid. It just sounded better that way.
2. Birthday: No questions here. 4/3. We got one right.
3. Favorite Book: Hmm. Well, Declan really likes books, so that’s good. At least I don’t have to totally lie and make up something because he never gets read to.
   What sounds best: “The Little Prince”
   What Declan said: “NO! I don’t LIKE books!” He wasn’t in the mood for this homework.
   What I wrote: “The Big Book of Dinosaurs.” He does love that book. Some times.
4. Favorite Color:
   The Truth: He doesn’t care.
   What he said: “I like purple crayons.(He was holding a purple crayon) I don’t want to do this any more.”
   What I wrote: Green, blue and purple. Even though I”m a liberal, cool mom, I felt kinda weird saying my son’s favorite color was purple. I dunno why. Sue me.
5. Favorite Food:
   This one got me. How I answer this speaks volumes about me as a mom.
   What I wanted to say: “Organic carrots, free-range chicken and tofu patties.”
   What Declan said: “Mirrors.” No clue.
   The Truth: If he truly planned his meals, he would eat eggs and cinnamon toast every morning (Ok, he does, that’s not so bad), macaroni and cheese for lunch/and or dinner, Oreos for snacks and pizza. Occasionally, he would likely request chips or cereal. Oh, and cheese sticks.
   What I Wrote: Macaroni and cheese, pizza, hamburgers.
6. Hobbies:
   Wait, what? Three year olds have hobbies? Shit. We don’t have any.
   What I wanted to write: Soccer, Art Class, Piano Lessons
   What Declan said he likes to do: “Nothing.” He really wasn’t cooperating.
   What he would do all day if it was up to him: Watch NickJr. Run around. Scream really loud. Watch more TV. Jump on something/someone.
   What he does all day: See above. Oh, and we go to the store a lot.
   What I wrote: Painting, playing dinosaurs, games. (Does “Jump on Mommy’s neck when she’s not looking” count as a game? Yes? Good.)
7. My favorite thing to do at preschool is:
   That remains to be seen. I am hoping his answer is “LEARNING!” but I’m sure it’s going to have to do with water fountains or standing on tables.

So, yea. I knew if I painted the picture I wanted to see, after about 15 minutes of his first day, my cover would be blown. So I had to find the gray area between what makes me look like a stellar parent and, well, the truth. Hopefully, Declan’s charm will make up for my shortcomings, and that will earn me some extra credit.